


Hit The Road Jack

by mythtress



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Jack being Jack, M/M, Poor Life Choices, Road Trips, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-01 02:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythtress/pseuds/mythtress
Summary: Timothy has an assignment and Jack decides to tag along.





	1. Show Boats and Bar Brawls

A malaise of boredom had settled heavily onto the CEO’s shoulders. His mismatched eyes scanned over the same line of the same datapad for the fourth time. With a sigh, he tossed it onto the desk, scattering a multitude of other pads that had been neatly stacked. He rubbed at his left temple, the pull of a metal clasp irritating a growing migraine. 

His fingers tap away at the holographic display, bringing up an echo frequency. The call is picked up immediately, and it brings a small smile to his masked face; No one ignores Handsome Jack. 

“Hey, Boss.” his own voice answers, though it's tinged with a hint of humility. 

“Hey, there kitten. How's it going?”

“Fine.” No hesitation; as if he’s expecting Jack to have heard anything different. 

“I see you're in the Hinterlands. Heading to Opportunity?” 

“Um...yeah. Along with all the other bases in the dossier.”

Jack huffed. Having a conversation was like pulling teeth. “Listen, Kitten, I’m bored out of my gourd up here.” He glanced sidelong at the data pads. “Nothing for me to really do. How’s about I join you for those rounds, hm?” 

There was silence for a moment. “Jack, Sir; pardon my presumption, but isn't the point of having a double so that people shoot at me instead of you?” 

“Generally, yeah. But c’mon kitten, how awesome would it be? You, me, the open road, a crap ton of carcasses left in our wake!” 

“You want to road trip through the Hinterlands and kill things? Together?” The body doubles tone was skeptical at best.

“I’ll meet you in Opportunity.” The Echo ended abruptly as Handsome Jack pushed himself away from the console and sent an echo to the team that maintained his personal drop ship to prepare for launch. This was gonna be fun.

***

Timothy had become accustomed to how people reacted to Jack's presence, how they interacted when coming face to face with him. Especially Hyperion personal. They generally gawked, shrinking away from their mercurial CEO. His murderous outbursts had quelled the more boisterous puppets of the board, but for the most part, he'd incited nothing but fear in everyone who ended up meeting him. Which made working productively quite hard. 

He'd startled the engineering team working on the bridge. No one had been informed that the CEO was on Pandora, let alone on his way to check out their progress. He’d been led around to various areas of construction. Shown the workmanship on the buildings, the arboretum, and museum, even the beginnings of the statues of Jack. It was all quite nice, polished, gleaming white and Hyperion yellow. All completely out of place on Pandora of course but not a soul could convince Handsome Jack of that.

Now Timothy sat in a small lounge overlooking the moonshot drop site. For the past hour, he'd pretended to be Jack. Fielding inquiries and requests for autographs. His signature was spot on, having practiced till his fingers cramped.

He'd ordered everyone back to work and taken a moment for himself. He sipped at a cup of coffee some mindless drone had brought and restrained a grimaced. It was piping hot, more sweetener than actual caffeine. He'd come to despise Jack's preferences for food and drink as he was forced to consume them as the man's body double.

Jack's taste in clothing, mind-altering substances, his love for violence, and his ego were all burdens for Tim to bear.

Timothy heard the distinctive concussive boom of the moonshot as the blaring alarms sounded around Opportunity and flashing lights illuminated the area below. Tim left the coffee on the table; still steaming, and with a sigh, went to greet his employer.

Jack was a showboat and he'd chosen the most dramatic way to enter his newly claimed metropolis. The moonshot crate had formed a sizeable crater in the landing area. A mass of employees and loaders gathering around to see what had been sent by Hyperion without notice. The walls on either side fell away, nearly crushing several onlookers, and revealed an ostentatious yellow vehicle with a passenger already inside. It was Handsome Jack, wearing a pair of dark sunglasses glinting in the Pandoran sun. He looked akin to one of the many billboards around Opportunity, hair perfectly quaffed and a smile on his face; as if being shot at high velocity hadn't phased him at all.

Tim pushed through the gathering, feeling uneasy as he was given dozens of double takes. It had been rumored that Handsome Jack; a man often in the crosshairs had a body double, but it seemed Jack was now unafraid to admit to that rumor. 

“Hop in Kitten!” Jack slapped the car's exterior. “Let's get this show on the road!” 

He looked far too pleased with himself as Tim climbed into the driver's seat. 

“I have a car, Jack.”

“Mine's better.” 

The engine roared to life, and they were on their way. 

***

Opportunity had been left behind, their sleek ride hugging the curves around the coastline of the Hinterlands. The car’s bass was bumping lightly as Jack floated his hand on the rushing wind. He appeared in good spirits, a grin never leaving his lips. Timothy was more than irritated at the CEO’s actions and decided to tell him as much.

“What the hell was that?” Jack’s head tilted towards him, pulling his sunglasses down. Seeming like he’d forgotten Tim was there.

“What do you mean, Kitten?”  

Timothy hicked a thumb back the way they had come. “You outed me in Opportunity. Why?”

Jack laughed, “It’s been five years, Timmy. If they haven’t figured it out by now, well…” His eyes narrowed on the body double. “I wanted to show you off anyway.” Tim’s cheeks heated. “You’re mine, remember? I can do whatever I want with you.” Jack clicked his tongue, pushing the glasses back up his nose. “Be glad.”

Tim stayed silent after that. After so many years in Jack’s employ, he’s gotten used to the violence and the adolescent tantrums but he forgot who he was dealing with at times. It was good to have a reminder.

“Where we headed anyway?” Jack’s voice was light, cheerful even. A complete 180 from how he’d sounded just a moment ago. Tim pulled the dossier from his jacket, placing it on the seat between them.

“Overlook.” Jack picked up the info, flipping through a few pages of statistics.

“That’s the one with a bar?” Tim nodded, he was constantly amazed at Jack’s ability to recall things. He often faked not knowing employees names simply to keep his persona, but really he knew a lot more than he let on.

“Nice, I could use a drink.” He tossed the dossier down and pulled out his pistol. “Then maybe some hunting, hm?” Tim swallowed hard. “Or how about the other way round?” Jack flipped himself in the seat, rising up on his knees as he leveled the pistol at some Threshers off the roadside. The creatures were busy tearing a Stalker to pieces. Jack’s first bullet did little, missing completely. This only aggravated him as he fired three more shots, hitting on the beasts, and getting their attention onto the vehicle.  

“Jack!” Tim swerved the car as Threshers erupted on the roadside snapping at their wheels. The man gave a hoot as he bounced back into his seat.

“Now this is fun!” He blasted one of the beasts in the head as they approached his side of the car. Shooting another as it glanced off Tim’s shield. The body double gave an undignified scream as Jack laughed. “I got you, kitten. Just drive.” And that’s exactly what Tim did as he punched the accelerator. Sending out sparks as they rode a guard rail and entered the mountain tunnel. Outlook was just on the other side.

The town was small, like 4 buildings small. Hyperion had installed a grinder but other than that there wasn’t much here. Not even people. Tim noted the ghostly nature of the town. Jack lead him up the hill.

“What a dump.” Jack kicked a rock into the side of a building.

“Where is everyone?” Tim turned to look at Jack as if he’d have the answer and, not surprisingly, he did.

“They’re inside. Hyperion mandated quarantine. Skull shivers outbreak.” He answered, obviously bored. 

“What?! That wasn’t in the dossier!” 

Jack shrugged, “Recent outbreak.” He smiled in that way that chilled Tim to the bone. “Or should I say  _ voluntary  _ testing.” Tim stared for a moment.

“Why?”

The man shrugged again. “Why not?”

“Was it your idea?” Tim felt bile rising in his throat. He knew Jack had his issues, and always had. Infecting an entire town with a fatal disease though, that was pushing it even for him.

Jack kicked a mailbox, making it tilt. “Blake’s actually. Makes them easy to control.” He shifted his stance, hands on his hips, looking Tim squarely in the eyes. “Hyperion provides medicine and gets data in return. It’s a good system.” He scoffs, “Not like they were doing anything with their lives anyway.” Tim blanches at the statement. He always feels queasy when Jack says these kinds of things. 

He shrugs and heads back down the hill. There wasn’t anything to report on, and why this place had even been included he couldn’t say. Jack followed him down, not taking the lead for once. He claps Tim on the shoulder when they get down the hill. 

“Let’s grab that drink, kitten.” Tim nods, not really wanting to argue, and feeling like he could use a bit of liquid courage if Jack is going to tag along for the entire trip. 

The Holy Spirits bar sits outside of the town gate, owned by Mick Zaford a known antagonistic entity. A shamrock, shining like a beacon in the bleak Pandoran environment. It smells horrendous as they enter. Piss, vomit, sweat, blood, and beer all mingling in the air to assault their noses. Tim nearly retches. He’s used to being on Elpis where there is no smell but the oxygen surrounding his head in the vacuum of space. Jack gags, hiding the reaction behind his hand and a cough. Helios had automatic cleaning programs, giving the gleaming walls of the space station a mild sterilizer odor. Both get a hold of themselves and proceed into the bar, finding an empty booth and sliding into the barren wood benches.  

A man with a heavy accent comes over after they sit. He glances from Jack’s face to Tim then back again. A mixture of confusion and wonder passing over his grotesque features before he asks.

“What’ll ye’ have?”

“Bring a bottle and glasses.” Jack orders as if he’s talking to a Hyperion drone because that’s how he always talks. The man turns to Tim and he nods in acceptance of the order, trying a small smile. “Chop, chop.” Jack huffs, obviously pissed at the man seeking Tim’s approval. They have a bottle of hard smelling booze and two shot glasses between them shortly. Jack waits for his body double to pour then holds the glass up.

Tim follows suit, raising his own glass. “What are we toasting?”

“To us, Kitten. Of course!” Jack clinks their glasses together and downs the alcohol in a smooth motion. Tim acknowledges and slams back his own. It burns all the way into his stomach and then some but he manages to keep his face from contorting. They have two more before Tim decides to speak. 

“Why are you here?”

Jack returns his attention from glaring around the bar. “You drove us, duh.”

Tim sighs. “Not what I meant Jack. Why did you decide to leave Helios and come down to Pandora, to do outpost checks of all things.” 

Jack shrugs, ringing his glass with a finger. “I was bored. Needed a change of scenery.” He grins, wolfish. “Besides I haven’t seen my kitten in awhile. Maybe I wanted to see your handsome face.”

Tim’s eyebrows shoot up, but before he can retort there’s someone slamming chunky fists into their table. 

“Handsome Jack!” The giant of a man roars as his meaty arm flies through the air and crashes into the spot Tim had been sitting. Tim’s under the table, kicking the man’s knee out and sending him crashing to the ground. The commotion has the rest of the bar up in arms, and Tim pops his digi Jacks, hoping they can buy the pair enough time to escape. Then a shot rings out, along with Jack’s mad cackling from on top of the table.

“Come on!” He punches a patron square in the face, nose bleeding as the man falls back. The digis are at Tim’s side as he gets out from under the table. He flips a man rushing him, sending the assailant flying into a set of wooden stools. The digis begin to blast away encroaching enemies with their wrist-mounted weapons.   

The shots cause a chain reaction and the air is filled with bullets as everyone begins to shoot at once. The digis take the brunt of the damage, their shields quickly disintegrated in a hail of gunfire. Tim drags Jack’s ass through the front door as the bar patrons turn on one another. They’re back to the car and heading out onto the road, the sound of bullets still ringing out as they put distance between themselves and The Holy Spirits.

“Now  _ that  _ was fun!” Jack laughs, grabbing onto Tim’s arm and almost making them swerve off the road. He’s still holding onto the bottle of alcohol with his other hand, waving it round like a victory flag. “Nothing like a good old fashioned bar brawl, eh, Timtams?” The pure joy Jack is radiating is infectious and Tim begins to feel giddy right along with him.

“Yeah.” He answers breathlessly. “Yeah, it was.”


	2. Cannons are a man's best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first Hyperion base inspection doesn't go according to plan

They head across Blake’s bridge and Jack is still nursing the bottle. Tim eyes the sandy canyon below, it’s Thresher territory but it also leads to the Dust. 

“Once we’re done here, do you want to swing by Lynchwood?” 

Jack turns to him, eyes slightly glassy. “Why’d I want to do that?”

“Well, Nisha... I mean, I figured you’d want to see her.” Tim felt the awkwardness creep up his throat. “You don’t get to Pandora very often and she is your girlfriend.” Jack barks a laugh. 

“When was the last time you were in a relationship? Oh yeah, never!” It’s intentionally hurtful and Tim’s jaw tightens at the remark. “See, me and Nisha, we got an arrangement-” Jack narrows his eyes at Tim as he smugly continues. “-She’s not one for clingy types.” 

The car screeches to a halt and Jack’s face slams into the dash, the remaining alcohol splashing out of the bottle as it’s dropped to the floor.

“Son of a taint!” As Jack hold his nose. 

“You should buckle up, Jack. It can be dangerous out here.” Tim felt a little tickle of enjoyment at causing his employer discomfort. 

Jack laughs, wiping away the blood from his nostrils. “Me-ow.” He swipes a fake paw in the body doubles direction, the other hand busily wiping away blood from his upper lip. “Pretty kitty has grown some claws, huh?” Tim scowls at the remark and turns the vehicle towards the next base, which sits atop a mountain.

“I'm not a cat.” 

Jack's chuckle is dark. “You're whatever I say you are, kitten.” 

Tim chooses not to respond, giving a noncommittal grunt. It seems to placate the CEO, who leans back and turns his attention to the passing landscape. 

The base is large, several Hyperion buildings stacked on top of each other. With the main showpiece being a large canon, sitting on the edge of the mountain. It’s meant to be used for small bombardments, situations in which a moon shot would be overkill. Honestly, with how often Jack shoots the moonshot, nothing seems low priority enough to not shoot at. It’s an ultimate power trip, a weapon capable of wiping out an entire settlement. It’s something Jack loves to have at his fingertips.

They walk through most of the base before the canon comes into view. A Hyperion Hawk comes to meet them. 

“Welcome-” He stalls a moment when he sees there is two of them. “-Sirs.”

“Show my handsome half around, I’m gonna check out that canon.” Jack issues the order and saunters away and Tim sighs at his retreating frame. He’s not a fan of being put in charge, but it seems to happen more and more often. Tim turns is attention to the Hawk. 

“How’s the base coming along. It showed on the report that construction wasn’t completed.” The man turns his attention to the doppelganger when he’s addressed. 

“Yes, sir. Construction is proceeding as scheduled. We had some issues with the local wildlife but the autocannons are able to take care of them. Most of the time.”

“Most of the time?” Tim’s eyes narrow. “We’ve lost a few units. Some of the engineers and a few soldiers but nothing major.”

“It’s major when it affects Hyperion progress.” The man salutes. It’s Timothy pretending to be a Jack that gives a damn. He’s gotten pretty good at it over the years, and he genuinely does care about the people who work for Hyperion; some of the time anyway. Other times he doesn’t mind putting a bullet through their face. 

“Take me through the finished sections and I’ll see about bumping up requests for suppli-.” A deafening boom encompasses the entire facility. Alarms begin to sound, loader bots come clambering from the finished building into the main area, ready to fight whatever invader has shown its face. 

Jack gives a whoop of excitement. He’s standing at the launch console for the canon. “Baby’s got some kick!” Tim rolls his eyes. His boss is a giant man child. Several Hyperion engineers rush over to the canon. 

“Handsome Jack, sir, please...we...we have limited ammunition.”

“Well use the loaders then-” Jack’s grin is sharp. “-Or maybe we could use you.” It’s enough to get the employees to back away. Jack’s threats can be outlandish but he’s carried through with enough of them so that people never know when he’s actually going to do what he says. It’s a power position he’s worked himself into and Jack makes sure to keep that power. Except Tim can hear the difference. There’s a playful note to his words, and besides; squishy things make bad ammo. Jack could be quite practical at times. Tim walked over. 

“Can you wait in the car, please?” Jack’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Please? The sooner I get this report done the sooner we can leave.” 

Jack crossed his arms over his chest, bottom lip sticking out. “What’ll you give me?”

Tim sighed. “Whatever, just please…” 

Jack’s pout turned into a mischievous grin. “Fine.” He sauntered away and Tim turned to the Hawk who had first greeted him. 

“Now where were we?”

The tour is almost over when the sound of autocannon fire draws Tim towards the entrance of the base. Jack is there, sitting on the trunk of the car, taking pot shots at stalkers with a sniper rifle. He’s coaxing the creatures close enough for the cannons to shred them with a barrage of bullets. Tim sees the shimmer of one that’s cloaked as it leaps onto the vehicle’s hood, shaking Jack loose from his perch. Tim’s got his pistol out in the blink of an eye, aiming at where the shimmer appears to be climbing over the car’s interior. A shot to the body of the beast causes it to decloak and the autocannons shred both it and the car. 

Tim is by Jack’s side when the cannons power down. He helps Jack stand up and the man looks at the carnage with a weird smile on his face.

“That… that was awesome.” He breathes shakily and tosses Tim the sniper rifle. Then he heads towards the digistruct station. Tim shoulders the rifle and looks for anything else to salvage from the wreck before following Jack to the station where a new car sits waiting for them.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how long this will be but these two will probably hook up at some point so rating may change.


End file.
